I just came from a late night couples outing. My wife and her four freinds, took me and their boyfriends out for dinner and drinks. No, I had never met these men before, but we were expected to be the best of friends by the end of the night, because they were. These men now hate me, with good reason. I most likely ruined thier night, and most likely their entire weekends.
It all started when the ladies offered to pay the bill for the entire night, out of a bid for equality. Then preceded to nit pick and cheapo us on every item and drink we ordered. It was ridiculous! The entire dinner was, " Do you really need a second appetizer?", " So we are going with the imported beer, again?" and " Wow, that scotch was expensive?".
So when, at one of the boyfriend's home for coffee and a chat, The big " You guys were expensive, you better put out tonight." came out the mouth of the babes. I said something that ruined the night. " If all things were equal, you ladies would be driving home alone tonight, wondering what had gone wrong." If a man had done what they had done, all night, the date would have been over hours ago. I am not saying that we men are not thinking exactly that on a date, but we know to never say it.
This led to a conversation of how women are treated differently and how upset they would really be if men treated them the same as men.
1. No more chivalry.
No more door opening, carrying bags, pulling chairs, going first, saving women and children and smiles. Men never smile at each other, ever! No more paying for meals, drinks, movies, flowers, candies or cute Nick knacks. Men hate Nick knacks! There would go the end of the teddy bear and stuffed animal market, because I have never met a women who has bought one for herself. No more colognes! Most men hate them, really. We would like to smell of something we like, but instead we smell like what the ladies like.
2. Abuse would be entirely prosecuted differently.
All things being equal, if a man was to throw a brick at my car, and I was to knock him out, the cops would not even blink. In fact the brick thrower would go to jail, and I would be probably be applauded for protecting my property from damage. If a man were to slap, hit, claw and throw things at me, and I hit them back, it would be self defense. No matter what size or shape he was in comparison to me. He could be a hundred pound midget to my three hundred pound six feet, and the cops would not care. Any of these scenarios were done by a woman, towards a man and the man is going to jail that night.
3. Welcome to speeding tickets!
In fact, welcome to the police. I find it hilarious that my wife, with the masters degrees, can play the dumb chick act to get out of tickets. We have all heard the stories, short skirts, tight blouse, a smile and no ticket. Welcome to always being the suspect, no matter what race, creed, color, hairstyle or dress. I loved how the bouncers would search the guys, and let the girls walk in with their purses filled with weapons and bottles.
That was only three off the ways we came up with tonight, that would change for women if all things were equal. They were not very happy with us, even though we all believed that women should get paid the same as men. I am quite sure no one was getting laid tonight, when we left.
