I am not a GQ model. I am not HOT, by any definition of the word. I have a great sense of humor, and I am cuddly like a huge stuffed bear. The wife thinks I am cute, but she is an idiot with a permanent set of beer goggles. With that in mind, I get sex thrown at me from mostly older women, on a rather consistent basis. They may not be knocking my door down or stalking me on Facebook, but it happens often enough that it has caused a lot of problems. The abundance of Cougars out there, who are looking at men for much more than just their looks has brought me to ask the question:
Why Are You Not Having An Affair?
To add emphasis, I will tell the story of why I an no longer teaching Continued Education classes. The classes are required to maintain my professional licenses and I would go to a small educational firm to do them. Over the years, the older female owner and I became friendly, and she eventually asked me to help develop a class on Obama-care, and to cover a few of her already established courses. It was going good for a few months, and we got into groove working together. I would pick her up from her home for our weekend classes, to car pool, and we would talk during the commute. She started to overly share stories about her life, her divorce, her youth and past sexual exploits. I did not really think nothing of it, because people do that to me all the time. I have a gift for making people really comfortable about talking to me about personal stuff, like sex.
So I go on vacation for two weeks, with the wife to visit family and friends on a cross country road trip. I get back and she is standoffish, hostile and angry at me. Now, while I was away, she called my phone, on my birthday, and sang to me on my voice-mail. I though maybe she was upset that I did not call her back immediately and thank her. So I confronted her, and she told me the following ( I will paraphrase so that I protect I.D., but this what she said ):
1. She missed me, and realized how much I had been spoiling her. Because, she had been finding it unbearable to and taxing to teach her classes without me.
2. While you were gone, I was finally able to think clearly, because you make me flustered. I cannot think about anything other than you when you are in the room.
3. Your manliness is overpowering and it keeps me from being my normal independent and strong woman, and it makes me feel weak when I am around you.
Now this woman is a full 30 years my senior, and I am not a young man. I left her association, and I did not even collect my last paycheck. She is the oldest cougar that has hit on me so far, but she is not the first. I go to the shooting range and a cougar will offer to teach me to shoot, and out to drinks afterwards. Well, I am at the range, with my own gun. Don't ya think I already know how to shoot? It is always an older woman, which is not a compliant. I love older women, and always have. I lost my virginity to a cougar that was 17 years my senior. So they are out there, they are hot, horny, and aggressive, and occasionally married as well. So why are you not having an affair when there is so many available options out there?